I have struggled with anger in recent years. The thing I hate about my anger as a mother is that it erupts, sometimes randomly.
I have always prided myself on my mental discipline, and positivity. Obviously with my anger I have been failing.
In looking for ways to work on my anger, I came across the idea of using affirmations. I’ve seen other people share their stories of of using affirmations to help them get control of wayward thoughts, feelings, or situations.
I thought I’d try it out.
What is an affirmation?
Affirmations (as I understand them) are statements that people can read, write down, or even say to transform and overcome negative thoughts. (source)
There are a lot of opinions out there about why positive affirmations do (or do not) work for people. I’m not here to tell you there is only one way to do things; every person has their own journey.
I think of affirmations like working out, disciplining your physical body. Without exercise, your legs are weak.
Your mind is the same way. Without exercise, it does little to serve you.
What affirmations help with anger management?
There isn’t any one specific positive affirmation that will address your anger problem (unlike antibiotics for an infection). This is something that you’ll have to work through over time, to become the more positive you.
Take the canned list of affirmations (like the ones below), or you can put together a better list of your own that are based upon what it is that you want to achieve.
Here’s a list of the affirmations that I used to recite to myself and then even out loud when I felt my hatred and anger spinning out of control:
- I don’t want to be angry.
- I’m tired of being angry.
- I want to stop being angry.
- Being angry isn’t helping.
- Being angry hurts my kids.
- I need to get this anger under control.
- I want to release this angry feeling.
- I want to grow and change and move past this thing that makes me angry.
- I can forgive myself.
- I will forgive myself.
- I need to be kinder to myself.
- I can forgive myself.
- I should forgive myself.
- I am forgiven.
- I can become a better person.
- I can relax.
I need some suggestion for positive affirmations to help with anger!
It is wonderful that are able to name the emotion you are feeling. Here’s a list of some that you can use, and see how they help.
- I am calm.
- I am loving.
- I am in control.
- I am in control of my emotions.
- I am relaxed.
- I am focused.
- I can handle this.
- I have the power to change.
- I know how to calm down, and I can do it if I try.
- I can heal.
- I will heal.
- Take a minute to feel this. I have time.
- I am kind.
- I see the good in others.
- I’d rather be happy than be right.
- This isn’t my problem.
- I don’t have to do anything.
- I can take care of this tomorrow.
- I don’t have to respond to this right this minute.
- Everything is going to be alright.
- I don’t need to fix this.
- I need to let go.
- I replace my anger with understanding.
- This is not about me.
- I can focus on the good.
- I am enough.
- This challenge will assist me to grow.
- Today I choose to move forward.
- I am in control of my life.
- I choose to respond with love.
- I am a peaceful person.
- I attract peace.
- I choose to be patient.
- I am free of anger and hatred.
- Anger is temporary.
- Peace is my choice.
- I refuse to waste any more time being angry.
- I choose a life of peace.
- I choose a life of joy.
- I am gaining control over my emotions.
- I will manage my anger.
- Each day, my anger is becoming easier to manage.
- Working on my anger is improving my life.
- I have the power to become the person I want to be.
Tips for how to use your affirmations
Affirmations aren’t just about reading them or saying them. How you stand, how you speak….these things both increase the impact of affirmations, especially for anger management.
Here are some suggestions for how you should put your positive affirmations to use:
- stand up, stand tall with shoulders back, with a strong core
- speak firmly, calmly, and slowly
- speak with confidence, as much as you can, even if you don’t yet feel the confidence that you are trying to put into your voice
The experts also say that you should say your affirmations consistently, and in the beginning, more than once a day. In fact, as much as you can. Say them after you wake up, and before you go to bed, and then any time you think of it in the middle of the day. Say them until it becomes easy to say them confidently, while standing tall and proud (and no longer feel silly doing it).
Say them until you feel better.
Emily Anderson is a mother of three children, all under the age of 10. Located in the Pacific Northwest of the US, Emily is a mom and part-time blogger, jumping in front of the computer when the kids are sleeping. She started this blog in April of 2019 and is proud that the blog is now paying for itself. If you want to know about her journey as a blogger, check out out her personal digital journal or her post about failing her way to blogging success.